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I basically lost 2 centimeters of my skull , I also lost 4 of my 5 Distal phalanges in my left hand , I found lots of Jack W. funny rhymes that would perfectly suit you, I kind of laugh a lot, I wish I was quicker ! I saw Dead Horses melting in the pavement, DEAD HORSES! , MELTING! I'VE JUST REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES I TRANSLATED "WHERE DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT"!

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I dream that you were like an English man, everybody was in love with your charming way of being yourself, but I was still remembering you as the unsophisticated being you truly are, I was kind of bother, no no I was really annoyed, more than annoyed!, I was even talking about your baldness , your weird hair and how you look like awful cartoon characters, I was so desperate to convince the people that you were not that English man, I guess that's why we are no longer friends.

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You had all of them on your side didn't you? You believe in all your lies didn't you? The ruiner's got a lot to prove he's got nothing to lose and now he made you believe The ruiner's your only friend well he's the living end to the cattle he deceives The raping of the innocent you know the ruiner ruins everything he sees Now the only pure thing left in my fucking world is wearing your disease How'd you get so big? How'd you get so strong? How'd it get so hard? How'd it get so long? You had to give them all a sign, didn't you? You had to covet what was mine, didn't you? The ruiner's a collector he's an infector serving his shit to his flies Maybe there will come a day when those that you keep blind will suddenly realize Maybe it's a part of me you took to a place i hoped it would never go And maybe that fucked me up so much more than you'll ever know How'd you get so big? How'd you get so strong? How'd you get so hard? How'd you get so long? What you gave to me My perfect ring of scars You know I can see what you really are You didn't hurt me nothing can hurt me You didn't hurt me nothing can stop me now

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I am worn out and tired of everything (In some way I'd like to explode)...

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Following the post of Cosmo I felt quite bad because I haven't talked about the members of my family that sadly had past away, so I will say something of them. Luz was my aunt she died when I was a kid, near my birthday , it was quite weird that everybody was so sad that they weren't in the mood for celebrating your birthday though I never liked birthday parties, she was sick and in some point it was in some way a relief I never heard someone cry as desperate as my grandmother when she get the bad news, she live in a lost town in Hidalgo, she was pretty good at cooking, I remember that she used to prepare enormous quantities of food for an enormous family, I've heard some stories about her when I get older, about his husband and the difficult and strong character she had It was kind of my first approach to know what being dead means (I had weird dreams the night she past away). Feliciano was my grandfather,the most amazing stories about a person had being about him, is like if he was a superman for his family, stories about how he went to Mexico city from the same lost town in Hidalgo, how he without a help from an architect built his own house, how he enjoyed pulque , how he and my grandmother used to take care about people that wasn't even members of his family, how awfully poor they were and at the same time how happy they used to be, he liked box and my mother used to watch it with him, I used to watch box with my mother as a child, I don't have any memory about him he died when I was an infant, there is a weird story, about me seeing my grandfather after his death, there is some story even stronger about other member of my family talking with my aunt Luz (this person was an infant too), my mother always tell me how I was one of his favorites grandson, and how he nickname me muñequito. Francisco, was my uncle, he was the kind of person you imagine as a chilango, he used to dance danzones, he had such a picturesque life, he was an alcoholic we used to have problems with lots of people we didn't like to see her sisters having dates with boys, he die of cirrhosis , it was as if he knew he was about to die, I had some weird dreams about him the week in which he died, and some moths later, I was already a young adult and it was like the first real encounter with dead, I have some story that I kept like some kind of treasure, because most of his life he looked like a really though guy, when he couldn't drive because of his illness I became kind of his chauffeur in some occasions ,one of those days he told me he like my music, and that he would enjoyed listened more to it if he knew were to looked for it, it made me feel quite happy to see someone I didn't expect getting as closed as we could be, that's a great memory for me. Humberto, was the husband of my aunt Rosario, he was a very special character, he had a really though life, though he was never embittered by this, he lived his life with lot of passion, he loves Pittsburgh Steelers and Chivas with all his heart willing to fight to defend the honor of his teams, he hated Televisa so much, we used to pressure Nadia to get the better notes from all school, he was really good telling stories, and dancing rock n' roll, he died in a way i don't actually know, I'm living in another country and it was weird to see someone you knew and respect dying, is like being away makes you think it actually didn't happened, everytime I listened to Teen Tops I remember him instantly. I don't really know a lot of my other grandfather, but I now whant to know, I just know he was a member of the army , and that people in his town used to have fear of him, and that he had a tattoo he regretted all his life and tried to hide it a lot...

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I had some ideas and some bullshit to throw up, all were being hardly process and I being running deeper and deeper , completes around the world, bullshit bullshit, politics , look book and all the big community of little sissies posers thinking they look original when they don't, and although I've been planning a post for weeks about the atrocity of this hole world, the porpoise of the people, how and why I think we don't have any, idea of Death as the only certain think we all have in common and how sad is that, yesterday my girlfriend's pet die, I haven't got any pet that really keep my attention like this one even it wasn't mine, I took care of her for some months, and even it is such a small little creature, in one second my mind was filled with you, how empty this room feels without you, and it makes me think how complex what it is important could be described , how difficult is to deal with Death and how unfit I am to deal with this world, this bunny was important to us, I felt so bad when I heard it was dying, Cosmo you have a little place in us , I feel quite bad for all the little things I did to bug you, to "teach" you what was important to us, I would like make an apology to you, and as someone important in my life you deserve your little post here WE WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH.

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I am a lazy boy (not so young), been like this all my life spend my time doing nothing but being comfortable I kind of regret being like that but still I don't really know, I dont understand life, but know I felt like I need to be in a hurry all the time, I want time for everything...

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If in any case you want to see this webpage as kanye west will do it kanyelicio.us