akatzuki

I do have fear of what would I become without you, I do have fear of me.

I notice I am a totally different person, the things i like has gone almost everything has ended NIN has ended, being a tv child ended too, I never was the handsome boy I always wanted to be, I am not the adult I though I was going to be, now I am one year younger than the age I thought my life was going to end, I'm almost 27, KC die at this age, and for me it seems that something is always missing, always missing something. The worst time to hear cantspeak.

I end up with no images, just the images I have in my head, I live in my head, I had always live there, I felt unconfortable when I studied at the Anglo, I felt unconfortable when I was a child, I felt unconfortable when I was a teeneger and I am still as an adult, I have had too many memories of my past I have felt those everything I have felt in my life one again and I fear I have become mad.

what would you do if you wake up and realize you are the same 10 years old boy, with the same lack of everything and the same empty feeling, and dislike about the world? would you shout?

Everytime you speak to me as someone who has always been though, it hurts, everytime you said I should have had more gf's to know how valuable you are it hurts, because I've been giving myself everyday, I have accepted the unacceptable for me just for you, and I you can't see that, I must be really disposable, as you always tell me, you should have had more bf's so you could see and remeber what most men are whilling to give for a relationship.